Sometimes you run out of fun things to do and end up in your girlfriend’s bed while she’s at work trying to figure out something to do besides look at porn. Man of The Year was doing the same sans girlfriend’s bed (or girlfriend for that matter) so we decided to tap an area of Milwaukee seldom visited by any of the DoZ. Growing up on the south side of Milwaukee, 27th street holds many a fond memory for me. My first bike was from the Toys R Us on 27th, my first car was purchased at Braeger Chevrolet, my mom ran a catering business that was located on 27th, and my first Target experiences were at the Target on 27th. A memorable street to say the least. Now, for some reason my parents never got me hip to Ned’s Pizza, but I really wish they would have.

Upon walking in the door of Ned’s you’re greeted with a photoshopped picture of Brett Favre that says “Drama Queen” and a clock that looks like a pizza. I already knew I was going to love it here. The inside of Ned’s feels like 27th street. It has some serious south side character. MoTY stated that he “would never bring a date here.” I couldn’t disagree more and this is most likely why he is single. We seated ourselves and were brought menus quickly. Directly in the middle at the top of the inside of the menu “MILWAUKEE’S BEST THIN CRUST PIZZA” is boldly displayed. Big talk. I’ll be the judge of that.

Seriously.

Ned’s offers a fairly basic pizza menu. No pesto, goat cheese, or spinach here. The one thing that sets them apart from almost every other pizza joint in the city/state is that they have pickles as topping. It is even a main ingredient on one of their specialty pizzas, the Triple “P” (Cheese, Pepperoni, Pepperoncini, and Pickles). Our waitress also highly recommends the Triple P. I’ve only tasted pickles done correctly once on a pizza (Pizza Shuttle) so I had to try. MoTY is afraid of pickles so we got them only on half. Ned’s also has a sandwich, appetizer, and dessert menu. On top of all that they also offer “Ned’s Pizza Parbakes.” From the website: “A Ned’s Pizza Parbake is a pizza prepared by us for you to take home and bake yourself.”

Loaded like Man of The Year with a bottle of Jack

The Good: The pizza came out LOADED with toppings (see pic). The sauce and cheese were great. Man of The Year couldn’t stress enough how much he loved the cheese to sauce ratio. The sauce had a perfect hint of sweetness to it that compliments the za nicely. The crust was thin and crispy. The boast of “MILWAUKEE’S BEST THIN CRUST PIZZA” is not as far fetched as most would think. I’m not stating that it is but I’m going on record saying that it is definitely up there. Ned, after all, has been doing this since 1969.

CHEESE TO SAUCE RATIO!

Ned’s Pizza is the only other pizza place I’ve been to that knows how to do pickles right on a pizza. Ned’s, actually, does it the best. As far as this doctor is concerned Ned is killing it in the pizza game. It definitely jumped into the top of my short list of great pizza places. A welcome surprise in a sea of mediocrity, I consider Ned’s to have the S 27th St. area pizza scene on lock and a pillar in the Milwaukee pizza community.

The Bad: I couldn’t think of one bad thing about Ned’s. The waitstaff was extremely friendly, the prices are beyond fair, and there was no wait for lunch on a Saturday.

Try: I urge you to go to Ned’s and get the Triple P as soon as possible. It was fantastic. I also recommend trying a Parbake. I will be soon. Oh… and if you try the wings let me know how they are.

Rating: A FAVORITE

My first visit to Oakland Trattoria was in the year 2000 for Tami Hooyman’s 19th birthday party. Our group sat in a private room with a large table that is opposite the restaurant’s wood burning oven. It was that night that I realized that all my then current girlfriend’s friends were douchebags. Oakland Trattoria seems to attract a lot of douchebags. Mostly, UWM students who want to go somewhere nicer than The Gasthaus when their parents are in town. My lunch was no different. We were seated near a douchebag with his parents who didn’t utter a single word throughout their lunch. I thought it was weird.

I allowed Man of The Year (my friend and possibly yours, Chris Stingl) with me since he had finally found a little bit of money after being unemployed for a little over 14 months (and counting). We were greeted by our waitress promptly and his 1:00 PM Jack & Coke order caught me off guard so I decided on a Budweiser and we were on our way to fun. Man of The Year, as well as myself, hadn’t been to “The Tratt” in a few years but he definitely remembered the focaccia bread and oil that they start you off with. He was overjoyed to find out that they still maintain this practice.

An extremely good friend of mine, Jim McGurk, spent a summer (2002: The Summer of Gin, actually) as a prep cook here. This meant he was in charge of salads and pizza. He would rave about how fantastic the wood fired pizzas are but I never tried one. It turns out JR McG was no liar. I was immediately impressed with the selection upon opening the menu (which is available on their currently under construction website) to the pizza section. Each house pizza sounded better than the next. I, finally, locked in on the Rustica (with pepperoni, roasted red pepper, mushrooms, garlic, and topped with four Italian cheeses). Our orders were placed and more drinks were brought to our table.

Rustica

Oakland Trattoria has recently done a little remodeling. It used to be one big restaurant with multiple dining rooms and a bar. Oakland Trattoria now has one large dining room and one smaller seating area. The other half of what used to be their other large dining room, bar, and the room I spoke of earlier with the other end of their wood burning oven is now called Black Rose and is supposedly an Irish pub. I was also unhappy to see that they got rid of the large paintings of vegetables that decorated their walls. During The Summer of Gin McGurk and myself decided to use a couple of them as salutations. It was not uncommon to see us saying “Peas” or “Eggplants” instead of “Peace” or “Later” or even the popular “Goodbye.” We still use these to this day and I wish I could have stolen those paintings before they decided to get rid of them. After reminiscing about peas and eggplants enough to bore the hell out of Man of The Year, our food was delivered.

The Good: The wood burning stove gives their pizza a somewhat smokey flavor and a crispy crust without it being a traditional thin crispy crust. The toppings were phenomenal. The red pepper was cut thick and the garlic punch you in the face like most places like to do. The cheese wasn’t overbearing. It was a really good mesh of flavor. They definitely don’t try to hide anything with their style of pizza. Everything is there for you to taste and it works out great. The house pizza selection is fantastic and you could definitely get creative if you wanted to build your own, as well.

The Bad: One size is offered. It is served on a plate and if I really wanted to I could destroy it easily by myself without thinking twice. While I was eating I noticed something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something

Rascal's Bar. 19 years old. I told you.

different. I continued to eat and it hit me in face like that guy outside Rascal’s when I was 19. There was no sauce. I swiped the toppings off a slice to double check. There was nothing. I didn’t want to insult them so I didn’t ask but have decided that there is either no sauce or very little sauce. My particular pizza, after inspection, was definitely sauceless.

Try: A house pizza and having a couple drinks at the Black Rose next door. It looked pretty decent.

Rating: Worth putting up with college aged douchebags with parents for.

DeRango’s Pizzeria is located in South Milwaukee. You would think you’re going to the south side of Milwaukee but you’re actually several towns away from Milwaukee. That’s how this town has tricked people into visiting it’s Detroit like existence for decades. Have you ever been to South Milwaukee? Can you name anything that’s in South Milwaukee besides DeRango’s Pizzeria? Probably not. As luck would kick me in the balls, I work in beautiful South Milwaukee. Since I am stuck there taking pictures of expensive baseball bats pretty much every day I decided to do some pizza research. Turns out this little town is full of pizza joints.

Since he’s native, I asked TJ, the “manager” of the 4-5 man operation I work at, where the best pizza in town is. He didn’t say DeRango’s but I decided to give it a go anyway. I checked their menu online. Oh wait. No I didn’t. They don’t have a website or even a menu online. I called them up, ordered a large pepperoni, and waited the 25 minutes to go pick it up.

Pizza Party

Upon walking into the little room that calls itself a pizzeria, I was greeted (actually, not greeted or even looked at) by 4 surly looking gentlemen arguing about programming the menu into their register. Where was the polite, sheepish, girl I spoke to on the phone? Was it one of these guys who were starting to freak me out a little? After about what felt like 20 minutes the girl opened a door with the pizza, I paid her, and got the crap out of there.

The Good: This pizza was a cheesy, greasy mess. In one word: delicious. It’s your typical small time pizza place’s pizza. Nothing strikingly fantastic about it but it is a solid ‘za overall. There is nothing that puts their pizza above the rest. Everything was exactly as I expected. DeRango’s cuts their pizza into squares, which I also respect. Would I eat DeRango’s pizza again? Definitely. And here’s why.
With every pizza you get from DeRango’s they give you a little pizza slice magnet. When you collect 8 of these bad boys you can bring them into the pizzeria and get an entire pizza for free. FREE. Sounds pretty fucking great to me.

The Bad: Looking for a night out on the town with fam? Wanna take the kids out for pizza? Go somewhere else, pal, there’s no seating here. Similar to drunken Ronnie’s 3 am east side favorite, Zayna’s, DeRango’s pizzeria is carryout or delivery only. That doesn’t sound like much of a pizzeria to me, but what do I know? I’m just a doctor. The weird dudes also freaked me out a little but I feel like that was a one time deal.

Try: Saving up those goddamn magnets. Their friday fish fry is highly recommended, as well (but not by me so don’t complain here if it sucks).

While I was double checking some facts from reliable sources I was informed that they actually do have a website. www.smderangospizza.com
 

Also Try: Getting any info about DeRango’s off that website.

Rating: The 2005 Milwaukee Brewers