I had been anxious to try Maria’s for a long time, so when the opportunity finally presented itself, I jumped at it. Unfortunately Maria’s is closed on Mondays, so T. Mario and I had to settle for Steny’s instead. But less than a week later we made a second attempt that was moderately more successful.

First off, Maria’s is kind of a pain in the ass to get to. It’s about a 25 minute drive from the downtown Milwaukee area any way you drive there, so you’re probably going to have to go out of your way for it. But I think there is enough reason for you to take that trek down Forest Home Ave to soak in everything that is Maria’s Pizza.
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Though I, myself, am a Godless heathen, I feel I have a strange connection to Jewish people. I went to prom with a Jewish girl, my best friend on my college dorm floor freshman year happened to be Brew, and one of my best friends/former roommates comes from a Jewish background. 

Show me your latkes!

Moreover, I’m borderline obsessed with Stella, which is comprised entirely of Jewish comedians. I also find myself immensely attracted to Lisa Edelstein, from that lame show House. I even, sadly, own four Neil Diamond albums. All those factors paired with my prize-winning personality has resulted in me attending a Hanukkah meal or two in my time.

In honor of my Jewish friends and DoZ readers, and to gear up for another Hanukkah meal I’m to attend tonight, I thought I’d throw on my writing yamaka and schlep over to the grocery store and review Bagel Bites.
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New motto: "We used to over bleach our water."

Steny’s calls itself “A Milwaukee Phenomenon” on its Web site. Beyond the fact that it still considers itself a phenomenon after being cited for six critical health violations, there’s nothing remotely phenomenal about Steny’s.  

After Ronnie and I sampled a Steny’s slice (which he likened to “a dried fetus”) during the Iron Pizza Competition, we decided to give it a fair trial Monday… after finding out that Maria’s and The Olive Pit were both closed. Upon arriving, there was an early sign that this wouldn’t be a great experience. Not so much a feeling, a signal or an omen — a literal sign.
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The town of Tombstone, Arizona has quite a bit of historical significance, most notably for Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. However, the town has burned down and been rebuilt at least twice in its history and now is nothing more than a giant tourist attraction. My brother and I were hoping to experience a well-preserved artifact of the Old West, but instead saw replicas and gift shops. We needed to eat some lunch, so we stepped into the Crystal Palace Saloon to check out the menu.
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On a recent trip to Arizona I had the chance to check out a local pizzeria that was recommended by my brother. Enoteca, located in downtown Tucson, was definitely worth the time to check out. The word “enoteca” literally means “wine repository,” and as you’d expect from any restaurant using that as a name, Enoteca definitely has a wide selection of wines. But they don’t hold back on their pizza either; I had no idea what I was in for going into this, but it ended up being one of the most interesting pizzas I’ve ever tasted.

The atmosphere at Enoteca is very laid back, yet slightly sophisticated. It’s kind of the pizzeria equivalent of the tuxedo t-shirt; it looks fancy, but it’s still casual and comfortable. The kitchen is openly visible to the left of the dining area, and there’s a small bar with a few tap beers to the right. Their menu featured standard Italian fare, mostly salads, pastas and pizzas.
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115 3rd Street South
La Crosse, WI 54601

(608) 782-7550

As much as Big Al’s in La Crosse is revered for the kind of thin-crust pizza that’s so good that your nuts ache for it, it is also known for its owner’s reputation as kind of being a dickhole. Having worked there for a couple of months, I feel confident that this is a misconception. Big Al definitely seemed like a surly sort of guy, with his penchant for growing radishes and extra bristly-looking moustache, but just look at my evidence to the contrary:

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1440 Oneida St.
Appleton, WI 54915
920-830-8336

http://www.wiseguysappleton.com

When I’m in Appleton, WI I mainly like to do three things. First on my list is leave. My second favorite time killer is seeing how drunk I can get before getting my ass kicked or ending up in the Appleton Police Department’s holding cell. This has provided me many years of entertainment. My other favorite thing to do is eat pizza. With gems such as Stuc’s and Frank’s (plus Cranky Pat’s just a little bit south) you really can’t go wrong. When I visited Appleton most recently my friend and Appleton local, David Joseph Kiley, got me hip to a new joint. Wiseguys Pizzeria & Pub.
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We should maybe stop stealing pics eventually.

There’s an old adage that goes something like, “Use it, or lose it.” 

That statement is not only applicable to weightlifting and the male penis, but also to one’s proximity to quality late night pizza joints in the Fox Cities. When drinking on College Avenue in Appleton, Sal’s Pizza should be used.

Located in the shadow of Anduzzi’s, and directly across from Wet — that shitty night club where Nick Barnett pushed down some lady — its location leaves something to be desired. A frame of reference for those not familiar with the Fox Valley: It’s smack dab in the Appleton equal of Milwaukee’s Water Street between Juneau and Kilborn, the Madison equivalent of wherever that bar is where that wheelchair-bound little person trolls for fresh dick, the Eau Claire version of … Eau Claire. 

But despite the shitshow surrounding Sal’s, the pizza is worth stumbling the gauntlet of pavement puke, off key street performers, and Appleton Police after last call. 
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You probably wouldn’t expect to find some tasty pizza in the lobby area between two big office buildings, but that’s exactly where I found it this week. Then again, Sababa Cafe isn’t really a pizza place; they just happen to serve it. The menu is mostly of the salad and sandwich variety that you would probably expect from a restaurant tucked between two fairly busy office buildings; they even serve breakfast and coffee shop standard drinks. Seeing how diverse the menu was, I was curious how good the pizza could be. Read more »

http://www.rfpizzeria.com

I’ve been curious about Riverfront Pizzeria for quite some time now. They opened in 2006 and I used to deliver coffee to them when I worked for Alterra Coffee Roasters. I actually tried going there one time but discovered that they’re closed on Mondays. At the time I was seriously bummed but you can’t hate on an establishment for taking a day off. Especially, a Monday. I had a surprisingly drunken Wednesday night so I decided to take a nap as soon as I got home from work on Thursday. I was in my bed for a little while relishing in it’s comfort when there was that familiar knock on my bedroom door. It was Strip Club Dave, my room mate and long time friend (and one time band mate while we’re at it). He was leaving for Thailand on Saturday for a month and wanted to get some pizza since he wouldn’t be eating it for longer than anyone should go without a slice. He immediately offered Riverfront as an option. I was more than happy to oblige.
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